Not Working Up To My Potential

I have been making a concerted effort to declutter and rehome things that seemed very important when I put them in a storage box but no longer give me joy. During that process, I’ve found a lot of souvenirs, including high school pictures of classmates and old concert stubs.  In 1987 alone I saw Heart, Bon Jovi and Y&T. In the interest of full transparency, I had to look up Y&T because I don’t remember any of their songs, don’t remember the band and have no memory of attending the concert. Sorry guys.

Concert stubs and my student ID picture Junior year. I went through a black hair phase.

But I also found my high school transcript and since most people claim high school was the best time of their lives, this discovery has got me thinking.  I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if your high school years were miserable, it WILL get better. Not magically, but if you put in the effort it can. Maybe that means changing your environment, going to therapy, or even just putting a few decades between you and an off key performance of “Pomp and Circumstance.”  

HS Transcript or “Proof of Failure.”

I barely graduated from high school. There were a lot of reasons for that. Us GenX kids were pretty feral, and a lack of supervision led to me blowing off my homework. And then I discovered boys and gave up any hope of academic success. My GPA was 1.89 (I honestly thought it was lower, yay me!) and I ranked 303 out of 326 students. I guess I could be proud that I wasn’t 326th. My report card was peppered with C’s, D’s and F’s. There were some A’s and B’s, like in my Drafting and Administration of Justice classes, which makes sense since I work in law and love to build things. I went to Junior College for a few years and did better, but I didn’t have any idea about what I wanted to do. There was also no money for college so I figured I wouldn’t even bother. I worked in retail after high school and 7 years after graduation got my first office job. That’s how I accidentally ended up with a career in law.  

After Phil died, my best friend bullied aggressively encouraged me to finish my AA.  I called the local college on a Thursday and was attending classes the following Monday.  I had forgotten how much I loved school and loved learning.  When I graduated in 2017, my GPA was 3.83.  I would have gotten “Magna Cum Laude” next to my name at graduation, but I was a part time student and I guess they only make the distinction for full time.

GPA for my AA transfer degree

Ok, college degree with training wheels obtained, so I’m done.  Not so fast, said Bestie.  A little more aggressive encouragement and I was registered as a full time student, while working and parenting full time, at Southern New Hampshire University.  Their distance learning allowed me to get my Bachelors right before the pandemic. I had a 3.6 GPA, made the Dean’s list and graduated Magna Cum Laude.  

I needed those decades for personal growth and for tech to advance in a way that would be the most beneficial for my needs.  Online learning was in its infancy in the early 90’s.  I remember taking one college online class in 1997, and I had to borrow someone’s computer because we didn’t have computers at home.  (If we had cell phones, they weren’t digital until the early 2000’s, I believe.) 

Again, I don’t know who needs to hear this, but hang in there.  Maybe you didn’t do well in school, but that doesn’t mean you won’t crush it in college.  Or maybe you have a beautiful brain that is wired to create music or build the better mousetrap. I can’t stop thinking of all the computer science geniuses that didn’t get to shine because they were born during the Middle Ages. Don’t let one obstacle stop you, keep searching and maybe the world will eventually catch up and celebrate what you have to offer.  

Nifty Fifty +

This year I turned 51.  COVID pretty much messed up my 50th last year, but this year several of us got together to belatedly celebrate milestone birthdays.  

I have to say, I LOVE getting older.  I mean, I could do without some of the system failures – keeping my cholesterol down is a constant battle and my left knee hurts before it rains – but overall getting older is really kick-ass.  I don’t get intimidated by people anymore, and most of the time I’m told I’m the scary one.  I also don’t take everything at face value anymore.  When I had to buy new lugnuts for my car, the tech quoted me $154.  “No, I’m not paying that.  Look for a different brand” I told him.  Miracle of miracles, he found some for under $50

One piece of advice I would give the younger generation is this:  Start a slush fund for the future. Save as much as you can in three decades to change the thing about yourself that you’ve always wanted to change.  As you age, your body won’t respond the way it did in your 20’s, if it ever did.  Diet and exercise can only get you so far, and starving yourself for an ideal is asinine.  Sick of the weight you can’t lose?  You have a slush fund to pay for coolsculpting or liposuction.  Teeth have always been crooked?  Get braces.  There is no shame in changing what you can, especially if you have the extra money to do so.  Don’t skip rent, the mortgage or food to pay for it, but have a fund so you can do what you need to do to be happy with yourself.  

Amy Schumer recently admitted to having liposuction because after the birth of her son, her body no longer made her happy, and I can totally respect her decision.  Many celebrities have had one treatment or another, and even the Rock went under the knife.  That being said, don’t change yourself if others are pressuring you to do it.  

Jennifer Gray from “Dirty Dancing” got a nose job after years of negative comments from her mother.  She was beautiful then and is beautiful now, but she honestly looks like a completely different person than the actress who portrayed “Baby.”  Any changes you make should be just for you.